Emotions are bizarre! For one thing, controlling them demands tremendous energy from you. Letting them flow also requires energy. They are a product of your mental and physiological statuses. Any event that happens around you can affect the way you feel (both physically and mentally), and as a result affects your behaviour, affects your thoughts and actions. Is this voluntary or is it inevitable?
I think - one can promise actions, but not feelings, for the latter are involuntary. For example, when you admire a person, you can seldom hide it. Your smile usually says it all. It's something unconscious. You smile without a reason. No matter how much little sleep you have had, thinking about him or her makes you smile. That is when you have to come to terms with the 'involuntary' part of your brain and let it out. The thought of letting someone know how you feel about them makes you shudder. But in the end, you do have to muster up the strength because you won't feel free unless things are out in the open. Although, when you do let it out, you should be prepared for any answer. That's the hardest part, both for the person receiving and giving the answer. This is when hearts are either broken or given the chance to pump harder. I say this on behalf of a lot of people who have shared their experiences with me. Suppose it is not a definite yes... If you are lucky enough, that person will stay with you as a friend forever even if a relationship doesn't bloom. A smile connects your minds and to see each other smiling is a lovely feeling. It is a mutual emotion that you both share and happily express because you respect and like each other. Also you don't like seeing the other person hurt :) feels special! This emotion is something that you can't hold back easily..semi- involuntary... Relating this back to the last post, the object of journey in this case is being there for each other and sharing everything...so it's the journey itself. The destination will be taken care of if you let things be... :)
I can say one thing for sure. Genuine feelings are precious and rare - convey them when you feel it and they wil be reciprocated in some way. Keep smiling and cherish the emotions. Your smile makes me happy :)
Paramapadham Vilaiyaattu
3 years ago
enjoyed reading your posts :)! hope to see many more.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, it takes practice. I say unfortunately because when someone doesnot show emotion, it's because something happened to them that makes them hold their emotions. It could be anything, one of which could be they were hurt and now protect tehmselves from getting hurt againt by not showing any emotions...They would want show a feeling of happiness even if they are or sadness even if they are, cause they might end up hurting themselves or the one they care much/love much.
ReplyDeleteAs a general rule, people compain about men not showing emotions. but people dont know when men show emotions...World cries...let it be anger,love,care.. Men dont show emotions because they are told from childhood 'dont cry like a girl, get up, and kick the ball hard', a way different than girls where they are hugged through life and given more space to be like a girl.
After you have been rejected by those who are supposed to love and protect, over time, you develop a thick skin, in order to 'survive'. You pretend it doesnot hurt, by not allowing it to show.
Wearing your emotions for everyone to see, opens you up to those who would hurt you and you become vulnerable, only to be left twisting in thw wind...Not a good feeling for sure..
That doesnot mean they are unemotional. There are people who are/havetobe emotional(Criminals, Mental patiens)
So it differs from person to person, situation to situation. Generally its a Protection.
Bottom Line - Emotions... Good to have but hurt 99 times of 100.
Barkha Bahar aaye Piya Nahi aaye
Rato me taare gine, Aasu bahaye.
Rato ke andhero me chain na aaye,jiya ghabaraye,
Tumse bicchad ke saajana bahot pachtayee
So never embrace emotions is my theory. <*)))><
@vinthiya - welcome to my webworld. thanks! will sure post more whenever i get time :)
ReplyDelete@pravin - well said, but i think your views reflect your experiences. So you are right. It differs from person to person and situation to situation.
If emotions can be controlled and not be 'worn' as you put it, they will be controlled if you believe that they should be. I was talking about emotions which are 'involuntary' and can only be seen by people who see you. I didn't know that I was smiling for no reason until someone mentioned it to me. That's when I gave it some thought.
Also, I said, be prepared for any answer! This is when your resilience will be put to test. You will have to bounce back to reality in both cases (whether the feeling is reciprocated or not).
Everyone embraces emotions at one point in their life for sure. Only when one has endured the 'hurt' feeling, will he or she realise that people can hurt you and if he or she felt vulnerable and didn't like it, they wouldn't want to repeat it. That's when one decides never to embrace emotions again, because they believe all ends in getting hurt and their heart aching.
One of my favourite quotes is 'Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind'... this way you wouldn't mind it if someone hurts you because you know that they haven't understood you. Although, it is not good to say what you feel if the other person you know for sure is going to get hurt, because that will just be being insensitive to others feelings and goes to show selfishness. Emotions are complex and the way you express them absolutely needs to be tailored to the situation.
Thanks for that thoughtful comment Pravin. Keep visting :) I will put more of my thoughts up when I find time, which mind you is very rare! hope a smile is in store for you sometime soon :)
I believe emotions should never be bottled up. Bottling up emotions can severely affect the way we operate and good or bad, it has to be let out.
ReplyDeleteI like the ‘one can promise actions, but not feelings’ part but how many times do we deliver on such promises?
I can relate to your post in many ways but I have always made it a point to share my feelings with the concerned party. Honestly, we should never fear to express our feelings. Yes, the outcome might not always be to our liking but that shouldn’t cause a shudder in us from expressing our true feelings. Trust me, regardless of the outcome, just expressing our feelings will bring about great deal of pleasure, happiness, excitement mixed with nervousness and anxiety. It is an experience beyond words that one has to live through to truly understand!
Gans - it looks like our wavelengths are similar in this issue. Thanks for the comment :)
ReplyDelete@ Delivering promises - I am sure some people are particular about promising only if you can deliver it...I am not one of them, but I am starting to say 'no', if I feel it's a bit too much to keep up the promise.
oh btw, I am loving how you and your other half are taking this relationship to a whole technologically new level by having exchanges through the blogger. lol.